First-Generation Academic Journey

Growing up in a Spanish-speaking household made my educational journey two times more interesting. Transitioning from Spanish to English classes at a young age was difficult, but the elementary school I went to knew how to help children like us transition beautifully; Especially when most of our parents couldn’t help. My mother being from Honduras and my father being from Mexico gave me two different aspects of what it meant to be Latina. However, one thing was always clear, family is our main source of motivation. My parents never lacked in providing me with the support to do good in school. While they didn’t have much to provide for me academically, they taught me what it is like to be compassionate, socially intelligent, and to work hard to be the best version of myself. That has become the root of my extensive effort and success. 

When I first arrived here at Lake Forest College I saw and felt my parents feel out of place for once. I saw the way they glanced around not finding a single POC, but in that moment I knew how incredibly proud they were of all that I had built for myself. I saw them publicly cry for the first time when they finished helping me move in. Watching them tear up made me even more proud of who I was and where I had come from. I had a hard time finding comfort on campus when they left. My family was all I knew. I have grown up raising all 5 of my siblings and watching my parents work long hours to provide for us what they never had. It was my turn to work hard for what they still had yet to discover. My education has made my parents feel every single one of their sacrifices was worth it; That to me will always be a motive to keep going. I have watched them fall and get back up numerous times, always leading with their head held high to keep moving forward. My perseverance and strength come from those two who are the most generous people I have known.

Knowing my parents couldn’t afford to pay my way through school led me to seek opportunities beyond sight. I worked really hard throughout high school and that summer before my first year at a higher education institution. I knew I was going to make it because, with parents and family like mine, there was no way I wouldn’t be able to find my way through. While being so independent all my life, I found it difficult to reach out for help, especially financially. Lake Forest has made that fade away. While the school has allowed me to flourish in my independence, they have also handed me immense support and resources when I have needed it the most: from the financial aid office to the business office. I will forever be grateful for the way they reward first-generation students for simply being here and giving it their all. I have found a community where I don’t ever feel incapable, out of place, or alone. While being away from my family and friends was difficult, I have found a family of friends here who also have had some of the same experiences as me. There is such a high percentage of international students who make this school feel soulful and accepting. My time here has been grand and I will forever cherish the journey that it took for me to become who I am today. 

One of the most stressful things before leaving off for college as a first-generation student includes talking to your parents/family about how they can help you from their end. It becomes very evident that there isn’t much they can help you with academically as they had it differently. It often feels easy to think that you’ve had to learn everything on your own, which in most cases is true. However, learning to communicate with your parents is very essential at a time when you’ll need support the most. Parents often become overbearing when distance is placed between them and their children, let alone their firstborn. 

It can be very difficult to allow them the space to understand that they can’t dictate how well or what you do in school. While they might claim to understand, we know that it’s not fully true. They don’t understand because they don’t know what it is actually like. Their forms of pressure and standard usually root from them knowing the great things we are capable of. Instead of arguing against it, try to teach them how to be there for you, through verbal motivation and comprehension. Simply express your gratitude for their good wishes, but keep in mind that they won’t ever be able to walk in our shoes, and neither will we be able to walk in theirs.

We as first-gen are typically the eldest of our siblings, setting an example for them is important, but setting an example for our parents is also important. We must let them grow into the idea that we are becoming more independent by the day. We should incorporate them in our journey even if it’s just conversational. They want to feel and be part of your success. Again, it might feel like they are trying to live for you and feel accomplishment through you, but try to understand that they didn’t get the chance to live what we are doing. Parents become overwhelmed when they fear losing control of a situation which in this case, is you. 

Leaving for college means you’ll no longer have a curfew, scheduled chores, supervision, or need to give explanations. They are scared because they want you to be and do good. The more you let them be part of your life, the less they will try to force themselves into it. Even if you just start sending them pictures of your breakfast, it’ll help the need for them to call just to scold you for “not eating”. Make a schedule with your parent(s), when will you call them? When will you see them? When will you update them? When will you tell them about your new friends and classes? The more you initiate these things, the less they will feel the need to overbear you. Let them adjust to your absence slowly, it’s difficult. Don’t shut them out, and most importantly: be patient. Show them you are capable of taking care of yourself.

If your parents are helping you through school, take a step back and be thankful for how lucky you are. Many times we are faced with the issue of not having financially stable families, and that is okay. We as children sometimes feel the need to not be a financial burden. However, it is important to know that our education is an investment. Even if you are the only one investing, it will all be worth your time and effort. Some parents don’t believe in investing in higher education and that can become something to deal with. Families who already fear their economic standing can or often try to diminish the idea of taking out a loan or having to pay money out of pocket for school. However, that shouldn’t stop you. 

Explaining how we are going to finance our money to our parents feels very unnecessary at first. While trying to explain every financial detail to them might feel frustrating, it is the best way to help them learn what we as students are also learning along the way regardless of their support. We can teach them that investing is smart and allow them to lose that fear. On their behalf, they can help you learn how to budget your expenses more/better. Our parents might not have the capability to help us entirely, but they can help in other ways. They might be willing to send care packages which can include packaged foods, clothes, beauty/health care products, or spending money. Believe it or not, all of these small things do take a toll on your finances, and our parents have lived through that enough to know it. 

You can also ask your parents/guardians can help you learn how to file documents like taxes, school/job-related applications, or other government files that you might need help with. I find that parents love to feel like they are finally helping/teaching you with something when you are often so independent with your life. You can always ask for a second set of eyes through the school or other resource centers like the financial aid office, the business office, or professors.

Mental health is a topic that is relatively new in our parents' generation. It’s safe to say that participating in a generation that takes into consideration physical, emotional, and mental well-being is extremely valuable. There are many issues within families due to the incapability of accepting or seeking help. As we see what makes a person lack energy, motivation, or care parents sometimes only see the lack of effort to be useful in life. As young people, we are often deemed with the need to always be active, on the go, and continuously working. 

It is important to note that our parents grew up forced to live by that which is why they don’t understand the importance of it. They don’t know what it is like to rest and take care of themselves from within. We have watched our parents put their emotions, needs, and restfulness aside to provide for our families. Though, that doesn’t mean we need to do the same. Most of our parents lack emotional compassion, understanding, and consciousness past easy repair. We need to be sympathetic during times when they don’t understand why we are taking a nap after work, or why we are reading a book instead of doing homework. They were never allowed the chance, the time, or the space to do so. Invite them to a face mask, they’ll say yes eventually.

As we become more independent it becomes easier to create an environment for yourself to rest without guilt, to refresh your brain/body after a long day, and to take care of yourself after a difficult one. In order to continue to flourish we need to keep watering ourselves. Learning to take care of ourselves comes in many ways, and understanding our mental health is one of the most important forms of it. We see how some of our parents are burnt out far beyond measure and it is heartbreaking to accept. We shouldn’t feel guilty for not wanting the same for ourselves. While we can admire the work our parents have done, we can also learn from the mistakes they have committed along the way.

Growing out of stressful habits becomes much more attainable when you yourself have learned to only care about what is good for your well-being. Before leaving for college there is this need to listen to everything our parents have to say, but that fades when we realize that we are our own person. We do have valid emotions, we have valid needs, and we have a valid need to rest. We work hard every day and just as we work hard, we deserve to let our bodies fuel and regain the energy we have used up. Only we have a say in that. We can decide to build on the energy necessary to help our parents learn from us as well. As they become older, they also see more of their long-term faults, and we shouldn’t shame them for it, but we should have conversations with them. Believe it or not, they will one day understand. 

Here at the college, there are plenty of resources regarding mental health, physical health, and emotional understanding. The school has numerous trained health professionals to help us promote our journey to diminish the stigma against overall mental health. Everything regarding your brain and body takes a toll on your health and we shouldn’t shut that out simply because we feel like our parents wouldn’t understand. We need to take care of ourselves in order to be capable of all the amazing things our bodies and hard work can do. There are also plenty of support groups, events, and fundraisers amongst students for the same reason, especially if you aren’t comfortable sharing with other adults yet. But when you are, check/reach out to the Health and Wellness Center  and take a look at everything the school has to offer to help you feel and do good. Some of these resources include therapy, group therapy, counseling, etc.

We don’t necessarily need to be diagnosed with a mental illness to seek these opportunities. Many times therapy helps us become aware of how to regulate and feel our emotions as adults who are still aware of their inner child. It can help us learn to communicate better. It can help us feel like we aren’t alone. It can help us with so much, so don’t be ashamed to do something good for yourself and your future well-being. We are all human.

On-campus jobs are very easy to apply to. While students who are accepted for work-study (in their Financial Aid) are hired with priority, there are still always openings for those who aren’t doing work-study. For example, you can apply to the sports and rec center, Parkhurst (cafeteria, boomers, the market, Deerpath cafe, etc), the library, Teacher Assistant, Admissions, and the list goes on. You can go to these spots on campus and ask directly if they are hiring or you can also see listings on  Handshake  for open positions.

While there are students who prefer looking for an off-campus job, we make sure to help them account for external factors. Modes of transportation are very important, while we have the UP-N Metra line in town, we also have access to  parking permits   for 3rd and 4th-year students who have cars on campus. Students often look for jobs in town (Walgreens, Jewel Osco, Authentico, Chief’s Pub, etc) as they are within walking distance. Though, In fall/winter, you must stay committed and motivated to travel to-and-from work in harsh weather conditions. Again, you can visit nearby locations and ask if they have open/available positions and then ask the CAC for help submitting your Job Application and polishing your Resume. 

Whether it’s through work-study, an internship, or an off-campus job. There are many opportunities to grow financially. During the school year, some students find it difficult to manage classes while also working. These kinds of students usually prefer to work during the summer, during breaks, and/or weekends. However, deciding which option would be best and manageable for you is most important. If you decide that working part-time/full-time is what you need then feel free to make an appointment with your advisor. Contact them personally through email or contact the CAC https://www.lakeforest.edu/careers - scroll to the bottom of the page to find contact/location info regarding the office.

For commuters: While studying in the library might not be the best option for you, you can always find yourself open to studying in the Commuters Lounge which can be found in the basement of Deerpath Hall (North Campus). You can also help yourself to the lounge space on the main floor. If you seek a more social ambient, the Student Center has plenty of spaces to study with your friends. There is room in the sky box, the tables in front of boomers, beside the Pearson rooms, the Wood Lounge, and even the tables outside the Wood Lounge. Meal plans and Flex Dollars are also available for commuters, simply call Food Services at (847) 735-5225. 

Writing Center (WC): The Writing Center is always open to students who wish to receive help or tutoring in a broad range of subjects and classes. It can be found in the basement of Hotchkiss in Middle Campus. The writing center can help you outline/revise an essay, study for an exam, gain practice for a class, and host you for weekly tutoring sessions. You can make always make an appointment or walk in to see their times of availability. Their staff is incredibly friendly and all tutors are current students at the college to make you feel more comfortable and understood. The Writing Center also has the Quantitative Resource Center (QRC) and the Science Resource Center (SRC) right next to it if you need help in more specific classes. The QRC focuses on BUSN, FIN, ECON, and Math classes, while the SRC focuses on Intro to BIO and CHEM classes. 

Career Advancement Center (CAC): If you find yourself struggling to put together your resume, cover letter, job application, or your LinkedIn/Handshake/Indeed profile: make an appointment with the CAC. They can connect you to alumni, partnering companies/schools, internships, and jobs. They have so many resources available to students in all career paths. Inclusively, they have a four-year Career Pathways program which you can sign up for to help you from the very beginning, the program specializes in 5 different categories: 1. Business/Finance/Data Science, 2. Creative Arts and Communication, 3. Law and Public Service, 4. Science and Health Care, and 5. Build Your Own. You can join multiple pathways to help you gain the skills, experience, and knowledge you might need in all your areas of interest. They also have many other resources (like interview practice/skills, dress attire, professional shots, etc) that you can take a look at on their page. You can also stop by the CAC in room 256 located in Brown Hall (middle campus).

Center for Academic Success (CAS): If you find yourself struggling academically overall, don’t hesitate to reach out to the CAS. The CAS can help first-year students with their First Year Student Transition Support Program, Peer Mentors, and an Academic Probation Support Program. All of these are available for your success. College is hard and there is no reason to feel hesitant about asking for help. Sometimes college success goes beyond doing well in your classes, but also taking the right classes, managing your time wisely, and allowing yourself to take advantage of all the support and more. As a rising senior, you might even find yourself trying to fit in your credits and/or requirements which is also something the CAS can help you strategize and complete. The CAS has connections to the Writing Center, QRC, and SRC which can also be of much help.